BURLINGAME, Calif. — All parents have been there and can recount with horror the vomit stories of their young children.
But a Northern California man posted some screenshots of texts he sent to his wife after their young child vomited in their vehicle. The poor guy’s story has been liked more than 70,000 times and shared more than 120,000 times.
But the vomiting wasn’t the worst part of Ben Patterson’s adventure.
It started when Patterson said he met up with his wife, Stephanie, to switch vehicles so she could go out with friends and he could take the kids home.
On the drive, their son, Declan, had an epic vomit. Patterson took a photo and sent it to his wife, who didn’t respond.
So this just happened
I just pulled over and am trying not to throw up myself
I just threw up trying to clean him up
It smells SO BAD
Things continued to go downhill for Patterson. He stopped on the side of the road in front of a woman’s home. And as the woman saw him vomiting, she came out to accuse him of drunk driving with the children in the vehicle.
And, of course, she called police.
I seriously don’t know what to do, I’m barfing every time I try to clean him up
I’m puking on some lady’s lawn in Burlingame and she comes out to ask me if I’m drunk while driving the kids
I’m trying to explain that I’m a sympathetic vomiter and can’t handle the smell
This is so bad
Aaaaand now the cops showed up
Aaaaand now a breathalyzer
YOU OWE ME SO BIG
Patterson passed the Breathalyzer and went home with his still-vomiting son.
meanwhile Declan continues to barf
WHAT DID HE EAT BECAUSE IT SMELLS LIKE ROTTING WHALE BLUBBER
ANSWER YOUR PHONE!!!!!
At least I passed the breathalyzer
Trying to drive home with the windows down and breathing through my shirt