Skater adamant he didn’t pee in to-be-flushed Portland reservoir

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FRANCE-THEME-WATER

Water meant to reach residents’ taps will instead be discarded after a teenager was caught urinating into a Portland reservoir. (Photo: Getty Images)

PORTLAND, Ore. (PIX11) — A skater accused of urinated in a Portland reservoir forcing city water officials to dump 38 million gallons of drinking water admits he answered nature’s call near the reservoir, but definitely did not pee in the water.

That’s according to an exclusive, expletive-laden interview by Vocativ with teen.

“Everybody thinks it’s funny and a joke and I’m going to be on the news,” Dallas Swonger told the digital newsgathering operation.

“It’s no f—in’ joke, dude. I don’t want people thinkin’ that Dallas is dumb ass because he pissed in the f—in’ water. In our drinking water. Yeah, that’s f—ing awesome. I mean, wouldn’t you be pissed about that?”

Vocativ reports that Swanson had recently moved back to Portland and was skateboarding with friends when he had to go to the bathroom.

It was apparently caught on surveillance cameras — video of which was posted online by The Oregonian — and now the entire 38 million-gallon reservoir is being flushed.

Three years ago, the city drained a 7.5 million-gallon reservoir.

The open reservoirs hold water that’s already been treated and goes directly into mains for distribution to customers.

The urine poses little health risk, but city officials don’t want customers to think the water’s tainted and they have plenty of water to meet demand.

Still, Swonger was adamant that he didn’t do it. And even if he did, he didn’t understand why they would get rid of enough water to fill 57 Olympic-sized pools.

“Like, how they can do that?” he said. “How can they be like, ‘Yeah, we’re gonna flush all that water.’ Dude, I’ve seen dead birds in there. During the summer time I’ve see hella dead animals in there. Like dead squirrels and s—. I mean, really, dude?”

The reservoir is one of five the city is in the process of replacing with underground storage to comply with federal regulations.

5 comments

  • tom

    People piss in the reservoirs all the time,,dont we purify the water anyway,,what about all the horse,cow,pig,chicken,ect….run off,,where does it go?????

    • nemo227

      Exactly! Like the skater dude said, "Dude, I’ve seen dead birds in there. During the summer time I’ve see hella dead animals in there. Like dead squirrels and s—. I mean, really, dude?”
      This seems to be the era of knee-jerk over-reaction by "officials". Youtube is filled with "officials" doing stupid things.
      It is an open reservoir yet the news story said the water was already treated and yet they pump water from an open reservoir right into the water supply lines for us to drink? Really? I guess that is why I have extra water filters on my faucets at home.

  • shoutabyss

    Reblogged this on Shouts from the Abyss and commented:
    Tom doesn’t think Dallas is dumb because he peed in the water. Tom thinks Dallas is dumb because Dallas talks about himself in the third-person. That’s just weird, man. And why isn’t the headline for this story “Dallas Pisses In Portland’s Water,” because that has a much more sinister ring to it. Why does Dallas hate Portland? Is it because we serve more kale and have more FPC (Fedoras Per Capita) than any city in the United States? With this latest flush of 38 million gallons, Portland breaks it’s own record of 7.5 million gallons in the same reservoir. Me? I’m not understanding the science. I mean, don’t ducks poop in that water? What the hell are they doing about that? Duck poop good, teenager pee bad. Personally I think the punishment should fit the crime. I would have made Dallas drink the water. All of it.

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