Rapper Kid Cudi checked himself into rehab for depression and suicidal urges and posted a message on his Facebook page saying, “I am not at peace.”
“I haven’t been since you’ve known me. If I didn’t come here, I wouldve done something to myself. I simply am a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions everyday of my life. Theres a ragin violent storm inside of my heart at all times,” the post said.
Cudi revealed on Facebook late Tuesday that he had gone to rehab on Monday, after grappling with anxiety and depression throughout his life.
He wrote that he didn’t know what “peace feels like” or how to relax.
“My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it. I cant make new friends because of it. I dont trust anyone because of it and Im tired of being held back in my life. I deserve to have peace.”
He apologized repeatedly throughout his post.
“Im scared, im sad, I feel like I let a lot of people down and again, Im sorry. Its time I fix me. Im nervous but ima get through this.”
He signed the post with his birth name, Scott Mescudi.
Other artists express support
The rapper has openly shared his battles with depression before. Earlier this year, he told Billboard that he had used drugs to cope with his depression.
“I thought about how much of a struggle it has been the past eight years, to be in the news and pretend to be happy when, really, I was living a nightmare,” he told Billboard in April.
“I have everything I ever dreamed of in terms of stability. But I hadn’t been living that reality, because depression was f—ing me up.”
Cudi’s frank admission about his mental health drew support from other artists.
Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz tweeted that Cudi’s “speaking out and letting the world see your humanity is inspiring.”
Rapper T. Carrier tweeted: “wow your letter just made me cry. i can relate on so many levels & i admire your courage.”
Cudi promised that his album would still be on his way and that he planned to attend ComplexCon, a convention held on Nov. 5-6.
His website had a concise message: “cudi #brb.”
Resources: Getting help for yourself or a loved one
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, contact the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) — a free, 24/7 service that offers support, information, and local resources. You can also click here for additional hotlines within your state.
Depression and suicidal thoughts are often exhibited in many ways. Warning signs for suicide can include talking about wanting to die; conveying feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness or being a burden; and displaying extreme moods.
If someone you know exhibits warning signs of suicide, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention advises that you do not leave the person alone, call a prevention hotline, and take the person to an emergency room or seek help from a medical or mental health professional.