Man admits to ejaculating into coworker’s coffee to get her attention

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MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. (PIX11) — A Minnesota hardware-store employee with a crush on a female co-worker repeatedly ejaculated into her coffee and onto her desk in an attempt to attract her attention, police said.

John R. Lind, 34, admitted to ejaculating into the woman’s coffee at least twice in six months and on her desk four times, according to a criminal complaint. Lind also said he wiped the evidence with her hair scrunchy, according to CBS Minnesota. The incidents allegedly began in February. The woman told police she had noticed repeatedly that her coffee tasted weird, and concluded the milk had gone sour.

The Beisswenger’s hardware store employee told officials that he was sorry and knew what he did was wrong, but he only wanted to get the woman’s attention, Lind told police on Aug. 28 at the New Brighton Public Safety Center.

According to the criminal complaint, the woman called police Aug. 26 after she caught Lind at her desk with his hands on his crotch and a “deer in the headlights” expression. After he left the room, the complaint said, the woman found bodily fluids on her desk, dripping onto the floor and soaked up in her scrunchy.

When police arrived, they collected the woman’s mug, coffee and scrunchy as evidence. The woman allegedly experienced problems with Lind before. She said in the police report that Lind often approached her with his zipper down.

Charges were filed in Ramsey County, according to CBS Minnesota. Lind faces two counts of criminal sexual conduct. If convicted of both counts, Lind could face more than a year in prison and/or a $4,500 fine.

Ramsey County Sheriff Department could not be reached for comment, but New Brighton Public Safety said the case is still under investigation.